settling

6 weeks into our new (old) world and we are all settling in quite nicely. Toronto is still home to me. Not really a big surprise considering that we lived here for 12 years, rooted here really as young adults. The transition for the kids has been harder than I imagined. Not outwardly, but inwardly, where their small spirits have grown shy and tentative, where I see hesitation in place of gregariousness.

Our circle has changed, but it is still strong.

More change is coming and coming quickly. Work starts officially for me next week. School starts for the kids in a little over 2 weeks. New friends and new adventures are around the corner. Our hearts are eager but we are all a little cautious, a little anxious....

the big smoke

3 years later and we've officially landed back in Toronto. What a ride!

Kingston was many things for us - a homecoming, a refreshing break from the fast paced craziness that is TO, the beginning of formal education for the kids, a new job and perspective for me. And a long a lonely time for Dan. Such valuable experiences, from each and every perspective, can only be thought of as gifts. Fortunately they are gifts that we packed up and brought with us when we moved on the weekend.

Kingston is water and windmills. Kingston is limestone and history (both on personal level and on a city level). Kingston is family and memories. Kingston is shopping at the market, taking the ferry to Wolfe Island, and mourning the loss (still!!) of S&R.

Toronto will be wonderful for us. Just have to get thinking about ways to make it so.
Here we go...

seems there wasn't more

Or I forgot and lost my train of thought. There was no big reveal in that last post. I felt as though I may have been leading up to something monumental and never got there. Oh well - who needs monumental anyway?!!

:)

decade

And what a decade it's been. The 2000's. Still seems a bit surreal to me that we're not in the 19somethings. When it's all said and done, hopefully more of my life will have been spent in the 20's but at this point the 19's have it. Regardless...

The passage of time is a funny thing. Fast. Slow. Anything but consistent and predictable.

When I look at my kids time seems evade me at every turn. They're so big now and growing every minute, every second, every blink of my eye.

When I'm sitting in my car driving to and fro it seems I have all the time in the world and then some. Good for thinking. But alternatively I feel like I spend all this time away from my lovelies with and around whom time passes so quickly!!!

Sigh.

Major things of the decade...
In the life altering category:
My kids.
My mum.
Ulcerative Colitis.
Our move.

In the things I'm grateful for category:
Love.
Old friends who patiently wait.
New friends who worm their way in.
Knit socks.

In the things I need to do better at category:
Calling.
Sleeping.
Taking.

ASPIRATIONS FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS:
- to finish a painting (shhh - don't ask!)
- to write a book
- to trust myself and honour me
- to keep loving because i do love to love

there's more, just not for tonight. too sleepy. part two to follow...
talk to you soon.

old as the world

Our cat Pye is not a spring chicken. Nor was he born this morning. He is old, plain and simple, as he rounds the calendar heading towards 18. Old.

Our kids are not babies anymore. They're not toddlers or pre-schoolers either. They are kids, plain and simple, getting older, larger, and hopefully wiser all the time.

And then there is us. Together for 16 years, married almost 10. Not 19 anymore, but not having too rough a time with 35. It's been a wild ride.

Guess I decided to come back.
Talk to you soon.

April, May, June, July, August, and half of September

Guess I haven't been by here in awhile.
I was visiting a friends blog tonight and noticed my dashboard after leaving her a comment. Which brought me to my blog this evening. And started my brain a thinking.
My current thought about blogging is that you should blog if you have something to share and someone to share with. And I suppose if you have a wish to have a permanent (well, I suppose it's only as permanent as you let it be - delete is never out of reach!) of your something.
I wonder if my somethings are what my someones want to know.
My friend has a blog following. Me, well, my brother reads it. My sister stops by once in awhile. Sometimes a girlfriend or two will check in. Their attendance and attention equals mine - that is, we're all healthy sporadic and inconsistent.
Maybe I need to find more reasons to come here. Or maybe the fact that there are not more apparent and prevalent reasons means I don't need to come here anymore...
Hmmmmmm.

Talk to you soon. Maybe :)

the payoff is sweet

I went to my first (and probably only) home birth this weekend. My friend Sarah was 5 days overdue when she finally went into labour on Thursday night, and for hours and hours she laboured at home, working hard to bring her beautiful daughter Tigerlily Beatrix into the world. I've never seen determination and grace so beautifully meshed before. Sarah handled each contraction with the knowledge that it was bringing her closer to Tigerlily, and stuck to her guns about delivering naturally right up to the end.

When all was said and done Tigerlily came out the old-fashioned way, with a tired mom and dad waiting to meet her. With Grandma rejoicing at the first sight of her. With Grandpa and big sister Tara a phone call away.

It was something to behold, and I have a much greater appreciation for partner's who participate as observers in the labour process. Wow.

Talk to you soon.